Wednesday, April 30
Woo! Cleaning extravaganza. I decided not to go to the library today. I feel like a truant, when really the truancy would have been to go to the library and spend hours on the subway and more hours browsing quietly. Instead I went through the steamer trunk in the storage closet and found some interesting stuff. Like shoes I don't remember owning, but that fit like a glove. Yay, new shoes! I also dug out my dad's old bomber jacket, and lo and behold, it still fits (although the too-long-sleeves are stiff after being in the trunk for so long and so make the thing awkward). I also got out my trench coat, but realized I can't find the belt for it. I may have thrown it out, forgetting that I owned a trench coat. That's how long it's been since I opened this trunk.
Now I have to put away clothes and do the floors, but what I really want to do is chat with my mom. But if I call her now on my calling card, she'll have my head. Long distance gets much cheaper after six o'clock. Grrrr, long distance company.
Tomorrow we buy paint. Wish me luck, people!
Posted by hKath at 1:39 PM (1 comment)
Saturday, April 26
People are supposed to be egocentric. They're supposed to live their lives like a movie in which they're the main character. So what's mine? All I ever find myself wanting is to disappear. I have these fantasies of lying on the ground and of being sucked into the earth, just gone. Of walking away and slowly going from opaque to transparent. Fantasies not just of not waking up one morning, but of the bed being empty. Maybe my bedclothes lying in the space my body would occupy if it was there. Fantasies of my phone ringing forever, unanswered.
Posted by hKath at 2:20 PM (4 comments)