Oh, Patrick Swayze, you shirtless bastard. You are responsible for my lack of inspiration.
Now playing: Eddie From Ohio, "Woman of Faith"
A part of me wishes it was actually a song from Dirty Dancing.
Damn, you, Patrick! You're ruining my life!
I said that already, but it's still true.
All I want to do is write. All I think about is sex. And love. But mostly sex. And if feels cheap. And I can't write when I feel cheap.
Wait, that's not true. I write when other people make me feel cheap... I can't write when I'm angry at myself and that's all the time these days. If I could just accept that I'm lonely, it would all be fine.
Actually, I'm doing something about it. Not about being lonely, about writing. I'm trying to face things and identify them in my writing. Maybe that way I can write something that won't make me feel like total shit.
I can tell you're very interested.
Now playing: Kate Rusby, "I Am Stretched On Your Grave"
I should really be asleep. I was sent home five hours ago for being too tired. But I'm at that in between point. Physically exhausted. But if I stay still, I'm alright.
I know it all has to start over tomorrow, and I hate the entire world for existing around me and binding me with its stupid laws like "time" and "space". I hate everyone here. Everyone on the planet. Right now. Especially me.
I hate that I'm so tired that half the time I feel like I'm either about to cry or throw up. I hate that I never do either. Maybe if I did, someone somewhere would feel guilty about what they're putting me through.
Ooooh, listen to me, such the victim.
Most of all, I blame Patrick Swayze.
Exit to the sound of Dido's "Thank You".
Hahahahaha. You say you like contrast? Bastard WinAmp, making me listen to this rubbish.
Posted by hKath at 12:57 AM ()
Saturday, January 12
ARRRRRRGH! How are you getting all my different email addresses but NOT reading this diary to get the message that I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU!!! How exasperating.
Posted by hKath at 12:24 PM ()
Ugh. Let's just say some people can work a pulldown menu and some can't. Which kind am I? Probably not the kind you think.
Took me about ten minutes.
In other news, I don't know what's wrong with me. Patrick Swayze appears to be sucking all my creative energy. I typed that sentence out on a random computer today and when Derek came across it he gave me an amused look. But it's true. I can't stop watching and thinking about Dirty Dancing, and it can't stop thinking of me, it seems. Derek didn't help at all. He quoted all my favourite lines as reasons why the movie sucks.
No one puts Baby in the corner!
Also... how was he able to quote those lines word for word, if he can't stand to watch the movie? I think he's full of shit ;) That's what I think.
Now playing: Sarah Harmer, "The Hideout" on my crazy fishbowl winamp with animated mermaid cursor. *shudder*
Oh, yeah... I wanted to start listing something new I learned today. Well, here it is: I make stupid decisions when I'm horny. Now that I've learned that, I will try to make the best of the can of worms I've opened up.
I'm sure you all really wanted to know just how horny I am.
Well... I... am... horny! Dammit!
Why else do you think I keep watching that stupid movie? ;)
Posted by hKath at 2:49 AM ()
Friday, January 11
Wow. Microsoft Money doesn't suck. *I* don't suck, unless I want to ;) Go figure (you go, figger!). I woke up this morning convince my alarm clock was wrong and it was actually five in the morning. Turns out I was wrong. Bastard people, all of you. It is too early for a videostore clerk to be up in this world.
So yeah. Microsoft Money. Who knew? I think my computer did. It just decided to say "Hey, I have Microsoft Money on here. Wanna play? Make a budget or something? Come on, I've got plenty of good money sense?" and my morning-brain said "Mmmm... good money sense..." and that was the end of it. Now I have a little graph that shows that my balance goes upupup, and then downdowndown. Heh. Heheheheh. But not as far down as originally forseen.
NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER! DAMMIT! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!
Posted by hKath at 7:47 AM ()
Thursday, January 10
So, I just discovered this new band called Guster! And they're really good!! They're 3 guys (√? think) - and two of them are called Ryan and Brian, isn't that too funny?
I got some of their stuff off of Morpheus and they are really good, they have a very unique sound! I think it's about time a band like this started up: really folky, but with a nice groove going. I'm going to keep my eyes open for more of their music... maybe they'll even come out with an album soon!!!
Posted by hKath at 9:15 PM ()
Another day off worth fuck-all. I need two in a row to accomplish anything, otherwise I just sleep all day and nothing gets done because I'm too busy recovering from doing so much the night before.
I mean WORKING, you fuckers.
I worked for nine hours yesterday with no break and I didn't sit down once. In steel-toed boots. No, I don't know why the boots. Because I like them. Although they really hurt after about six or seven hours. OK, really what wouldn't hurt after six or seven hours?
So the other day I was walking home around 1:30 am or so and I came across the pizza guy who was delivering to a house close to mine. And he was like "Hi!" and I was like "It's not for me!" and he was like "I know! Say hi to your roommate!"
Um, yeah. I guess we order pizza a lot. Mhm.
I think I'm narcoleptic. Or getting there. Good.
Posted by hKath at 8:46 PM ()
So today, so far, I've done one thing. I created a wish list. Heh. I know. But it was fun, and I did it with my mother (who's actually not done yet).
here's my wishlist.
Posted by hKath at 5:34 PM ()
Wednesday, January 9
Woah. Just as I clicked the button to get me here so that I could write a nice little entry for all of you, I remembered the dream I was having before I woke up. And frankly, it was much better than this. I want to go back to it. Except for the part where I was partly in a videostore and partly out on the street, that was a little fucked in the head, if you know what I mean. There was this movie called Chakra, of all things. I wonder what it means.
Remember how I said I was giving up certain vices? Well, I lied.
Bad girl! Bad girl! Bad girl!
Posted by hKath at 11:59 AM ()
Tuesday, January 8
Now Playing: "Down to the River" from the O Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack.
"Had to be at that there crossroads at midnight... sell my soul to the devil."
"Well, ain't it a small world! Pete and Delmar here's just been saved! I guess I'm the only one who remains unaffiliated."
I thought I had stuff to say. Turns out I don't.
Exit to the sound of XTC's "The Man Who Murdered Love"
Posted by hKath at 2:51 PM ()
Now Playing: Erin McKeown, "How to Open My Heart In Four Easy Steps"
What a night. What a crazy wonderful sleepover night. I haven't had a night like this since I was thirteen and Sacha and I would jump up and down while watching Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. Okay, did you really want to know that?
The strange thing is that I was at work. Shana, Tanya and I put on Dirty Dancing and consumed a large quantity of Fun Dip and Haagen Dazs' "Triple Brownie Overload". Then we watched it again. Then we watched it again. We crank called Derek about eighty times and now have a date tomorrow to perform our interperative dance routine to "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" for him. And then drink lots of beer with him and Simon and Adam and Jon. Yay! Yayyayayay!
Dear God were we crazy tonight. My sugar high is letting me down rapidly. Curse the evil person who called and hung up twice at ten thirty this morning. Bastard.
And Now Playing: Erin McKeown, "Lullaby in Three/Four"
I've realized the error of my ways. I've always though Dirty Dancing was crap. Now I realize it's a very good film. And repeatable! (thank God, or I wouldn't be speaking in multisyllabic words right now)
Patrick Swayze still looks like a bust of himself. But the rest of the movie has climbed MUCH higher in my regard.
That's all, I guess. I'm excited because I want to enter Freddy Got Fingered, Jeepers Creepers and Ripper: Letter From Hell (don't ask) into my movie diary. Also sleep might be good.
Sleep vs. browsing WinAmp skins.
Playing in all finality: Vance Gilbert, "Twice Struck"
WinAmp must know it's late at night. All the soft folk is coming out.
Posted by hKath at 2:02 AM ()
Monday, January 7
I just stayed up till three to watch Jeepers Creepers while alone in my dark windowless apartment. Why is this never a bad idea until AFTER the fact??
The adrenaline pumping through my blood stream could, well... tempt someone who, say, wanted to suck the adrenaline out of my bloodstream.
To my squeamish friends: please do not see this movie. If you closed your eyes at any point during the Blair Witch Project, this is not for you. I can't stress this enough, guys. The final image will be burned onto my brain for the next week, I swear.
So, in a nutshell? (Don't read this paragraph if you want to see the movie despite my warnings and insist on being told nothing about it - you annoying person you.) There's this brother and this sister, and the brother looks and acts like a cross between Joey Jeremiah and Hugo Rodrigues. And they're driving. And then some scary stuff happens. And then some gory stuff happens at a painfully slow and creepy pace. And then more scary stuff happens. There are car chases and crazy psychic ladies and a frightening beast-thing with wings and stuff.
And in the end (REALLY don't read this if you care at all what happens in the movie) the endearing ex-boyfriend Joey Jeremiah with a belly tattoo character dies the most gruesome death I HAVE EVER SEEN! EVER! Well, actually I didn't see his death but I saw him right after and he weren't looking too good, if you know what I mean.
I have to get off this topic. Luckily, I have a topic sitting here right in front of me which is doing a great job of taking my mind off of poor like tattooed Hugo Jeremiah. Gregory Charles is doing a special report on CBC Newsworld about French communities in Massachussetts and their French-Canadian origins. A bunch of folks in Manchester, MA are sitting around singing "Des Fraises et des Framboises" and "Ah, Si Mon Moine Voulait Danser".
But... this is less cool. People changed their names so as to appear less Canadian. Lesperance changed her name to Hope. Lamontagne changed his name to Hill. They're interviewing someone now who refuses to speak French.
Or rather, B√Ętard.
I just know there's going to be a huge amount of code up there instead of mon a accent-circonflexe.
So this past week sometime this guy asked me if we had cheat books for Grand Theft Auto III and I said "Cheat books for quoi?"
He's lucky I didn't say "coss√©?"
That code's gonna be even worse I reckon. It's supposed to be e accent-aigu.
Deep breath. I think I might be able to turn off the light without freaking completely out now.
Posted by hKath at 3:42 AM ()
Sunday, January 6
That's it. It's going up here. I've had enough.
Say... you maybe tried to have an affair with me two (or was it three?) years ago. Three. Definitely. Three years ago.
Say I tried to let you down easy by saying that I didn't think it was "right" to form romantic bonds with other people's fiances.
Say what I really meant was I that I didn't think it was right to form bonds with other people's fiances who are ten or so years older than I am, live far far away and have no chance of ever even remotely turning me on.
Say I have tried to avoid you for the past three years, although granted it hasn't been that hard.
And say now you're emailing me using words like 'babe', and then you're asking me why I'm not answering your email with words like 'babe' in it, and you're signing your messages "thinking of ya" and making me shudder out of total disgust.
Would you consider that a good sign?
STOP EMAILING ME.
YOU DON'T IMPRESS ME.
YOU NEVER HAVE.
Posted by hKath at 2:20 PM ()