"Crazy dancin! Making my penis sore!"
- Dave Chapelle

"I'm all about fat girls dressing hot, but if your tits look like a pair of mutant 2 foot long plaintains flopped into a pair of pantyhose that only covers the lowest third of each, LEAVE YOUR FUCKING COAT ON. "
- kateisonfire

Winner: FruCon 6 Survivor I think from now on I'll just call you Testing Ignore
Josh Woodward hehe
Winner: FruCon 6 Survivor That's your new name
Winner: FruCon 6 Survivor T.I.
Talcott-The Pulse of Life Testing Ignore sounds like something the SweeperShark can do
Josh Woodward haha
Lacy:Did you go to sleep? Between bouts with Cocaine and Metal Nuts?
Josh Woodward but the sweeper shark can do anything, so it goes without saying
Lacy:Did you go to sleep? All hail the super-sucker. *snicker*
Josh Woodward nothing sucks nuts better.
Talcott-The Pulse of Life hehe with Wall Hugging Technology
Lacy:Did you go to sleep? Only ten seconds left to order!
Josh Woodward hurry!
Talcott-The Pulse of Life And it can store exactly as much as its storage unit!
Lacy:Did you go to sleep? They never did explain what (if anything) the wall hugging technology had to do with its ability to suck nuts...

Talcott: ya know... I wonder if Jian gets an album wrapped up if he could wind up touring with GBS in the states (I mean as opener)
Gella: hehehe! GBS slowly becomes Moxy Fruvous!
Talcott: I could see JIan now "Yes, Moxy Fruvous is on a touring hiatus, so tonight, we're Great Big Sea!" and then they break into a celtic cover of Laika.

"Jesus Christ, Josh! It's sucking nuts!"
- Gella

Talcott: *hugs* Goodnight all. Goodnight wall. Goodnight little puppet ball.

"I am done with drama (drama, thou shalt die)!"
- Donna

"You just kept wondering who was gonna win. The couch was coming at him, was he gonna get out of the way in time? It was a cage match. Him versus the couch, and at the end, the couch was bleeding. He won."
- some guy, about Jamiroquai's Virtual Insanity video.

llyasmina: as for Leonard Cohen, i would just, you know... never turn my back on him. "no no, please... you go first... i don't mind"
SilenthKath: seriously.
llyasmina: "no please, you really don't have ot hold my chair out for me"
llyasmina: *giggle*
llyasmina: sorry, i'm in a silly mood
* SilenthKath imagines LC dropping pencils. Ooops!
llyasmina: *snort*
llyasmina: "oh wait, i my shoe has come untied"

"so kath, i'm thinking of you when i'm making out with a man. there's one for the books :D"
- Angie

SilenthKath: what do you think it should look like?
IguanoDonna: I think it should make people want to come back again and again.
SilenthKath: a big double golden arch?

"I don't use the word Synchronicity for such luck, I'm happy to leave it to the workings of the universe, and the hands of fate... and it's all just vocabulary, isn't it? But I mostly don't use the word Sychronicity because it reminds me of Sting and The Police."
- Donna

<Adam_home> forbiddent?
<Adam_home> is that unlawful denture cleaner?

<@mcee> we need someone to moderate this channel. let's go get AJ :)

<@AdamH> it sure as hell ain't no halo
* AdamH looks closer
<@AdamH> hmmm
<@AdamH> it's a pizza!
<@AdamH> pizzahead!

<@Lindsay> speed skaters have thighs bigger than both of mine!
<@AdamH> strong like bull!
<@ChrissieK> hung like bull!
<@AdamH> no, that's a different part that's bigger, cdk
<@ChrissieK> you sure?
<@ChrissieK> ;D
<@ChrissieK> they have tight little suits

* AdamH gives CDK a glass of raspberry cordial
* ChrissieK takes more cordial
* ChrissieK takes more cordial
* ChrissieK takes more cordial
* ChrissieK takes more cordial
<@ChrissieK> I don't feel well, I have to go home

"If somebody says something discouraging, i'll say, "at least it's friday," which is fun to say on tuesday."
- Bobby

"The difference between large men in leotards doing squat thrusts and six hamsters in a burlap sack is that the large men are likely to get an NEA grant for dance, whereas the hamsters are more likely to get one for visual arts."

"It's not like my hand = Britney Spears' head, and the rest of me = some nekkid chick."
- Mike Y.

"Dear Internet,
I'm poor, and I cannot buy any of your crap. Please stop bugging me. If I want to buy some of your crap, I'll be sure to let you know. I'll find it myself. I know how to use google. Thanks! love, donna"

"awww, poor thing, there, there.
Or, a little to the left?"
- Donna

"It's like really gross food, only made by Jesus."
-, re: ketchup chips

"Heck, even Jim Infantino and Tory Cassis are beating me to the saying something new.
rat bastards, all of them."
- Donna

"But, only Frances and the Magic 8 ball know for sure"
- Sigrid

"Made it to level 4 before i lost all by balls. sad day for sally's balls."
- Sally

"A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid centre."
- Simpsons

"When I was leaving the place, I saw a sign that said "metallic colours" or something like that. And, being the simpleton that I am, my brain automagically went 'OoOoOoOohHHhHhhh sparkly metallic!'"
- Mike

"But then I started thinking about what she said. "You can learn something new everyday"
But what if the *new* thing that she supposedly teaches you on one of the days is an old thing? Then you get ripped off of learning something new! That vile temptress Martha Stewart.
Then it dawned on me, there's a key word *can* in that phrase. You *can* learn something new, but, it doesn't mean that you will.
You win this time Martha Stewart. This time."
- Mike Yoshioka

SilenthKath: so I just set up instant quote gratification. Say something funny, yo.
sleepydrinker: hm...
sleepydrinker: i'm suddenly feeling distinctly unfunny.
SilenthKath: say something about midgets!
sleepydrinker: Q: what happens when you kick a midget in the balls?
SilenthKath: what?
sleepydrinker: A: it hurts him. duh.

"Homo erectus wins again!"
- me, because MC is too good for this quote, apparently ;)

"Pass a joint to my boss? Do I dare live out the American Dream?"
- Adam

"Shut up or I'll freezer you."
- Jon

"You got that str-- strippy!"
- Jason

"Be there or be quadrilteral."
- AJ

svexsal: *runs into the abandoned corner*
SilenthKath: *runs into the other abandoned corner so as not to give the first abandoned corner any less reason to be abandoned*
SilenthKath: damn, I have to stop reading Alice in Wonderland.

Lo Cicero: *Shwinghammer*

"OK, class. Take out your safety pencils and a circle of paper."
- Simpsons

AJ: Yeah, all that indescriminate eye sex I've been having

Sigrid: we done? Can I watch the inside of my eyelids now?

SilenthKath: Like I have the answer.
sleepydrinker: pretend you do.
SilenthKath: "yes. Murray will be performing excerpts from Mamma Mia. Didn't you know?"
sleepydrinker: "Yes, you're going to be performing a four-hour non-stop BeeGees cover night. Didn't you know?"

sleepydrinker: you'll have to fit me for it
SilenthKath: I can fit you anywhere ;)

"Stay away from the drunken sandwich, sweetie."
- Quads

"Hey, who wants one of my phallic-shaped mancakes?"
- Friends

"Mom, this doesn't taste like Raspberry Truffle at all."
"Then you're eating it wrong. Put it down."
- King of the Hill

"If you really wanna know, go back and read messages 2311-2315 and 2397-2455 and 2467-2489. Yikes. Maybe we should publish those messages in book form?"
- AJ

"You can't make something crunchy that doesn't exist."
- Gilmore Girls

"You were a good cake, Clyde. Never shoulda named you."
- Gilmore Girls

"A cool B&B."
"That's like saying an understated Nicholas Cage movie."
"Listen, I myself am not usually a fan of B&B, but Donald's place is different."
"Captain Corelli's Mandolin..."
"I'm serious."
"Bella bambina at two o'clock!"
- Gilmore Girls

"OK, I think we just found the first room in the history of the world that would have made Liberace say 'Step back, no one's THAT gay.'"
- Gilmore Girls

"I thought that by turning off the light and saying 'enough' you would get the message. Apparently not. The skywriter will be here any minute."
- Gilmore Girls

"We are not gonna have this fight in a flowery bedroom with dentists singing 'Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves' in the background, it's too David Lynch!"
- Gilmore Girls

"Mom, the flowers on the wallpaper are not growing or reproducing."
- Gilmore Girls

"I ate the fuzzy Certs."
"They tasted like keys."
- Gilmore Girls

"You're folding it wrong!"
"Is it smaller?"
"Then it's not wrong."
- Gilmore Girls

"Did you hear, I used 'existentialist' in a sentence! I've always wanted to do that!"
"It was very impressive."
- Gilmore Girls

"Ah! Look! I had these same pants in high school!"
"Mom, can we go? Please?"
"I'm IN again!"
- Gilmore Girls

"I love college, I love Harvard, I love fatalism!"
- Gilmore Girls

"We should probably eat something healthy since we've been eating junk the whole trip."
"There was lettuce on our burgers last night."
"You picked it off."
"It left its essence."
"There was lettuce essence on our burgers? And that satisfied our dietary vegetable requirements?"
"For the week."
- Gilmore Girls

"That is a Harvard squirrel."
"Sitting on a Harvard rock."
"Doesn't he look smart?"
- Gilmore Girls

"I like the bigness of slides. Makes you feel like you're really there."
"Yes, this one makes me feel like I'm in your finger."
- Gilmore Girls.

"Can I ask you stupid questions?"
"There's no such thing."
"How does ink come out of pens??"
- Gilmore Girls

"I thought this meant "Superpower" like... the US is a superpower... the first time... and then... I realized they mean like the Wondertwins."
- Donna

"I draw the line at wearing the big pants in public."
- Phill

"Put moist and panties together and you've got a very unhappy Ben Mulroney."
- Ben Mulroney

"I want to say that yesterday I looked at myself in the mirror as I shook my hair out, and I thought "I am so beautiful... how could terrorists attack my country?"
- Donna

"You go tell Jian he has the brain of a goldfish and see what happens!"
- Fiona

"But... it's the Mummy! And he's *back*!"
- Mike

"Good show. But there was a serious lack of mummies."
- Mike

"Wanna come see The Mummy Returns?"
"No, I think I'm gonna go home and eat tortellini instead."
"Hm. Tortellini. Almost as good at The Mummy Returns."
"So it's Follow The Road, then The Mummy Returns, then tortellini?"
- Mike and I

"What? there's no TRAVESTY!"
- MC

"Damn you people and your sex talk! I had to go downstairs and get some pop tarts!"
- Chrissy

"You're not a lady."
- MC

"I've just always wanted to do everything. Damn, I'd go into the plant and shrink-wrap the discs by hand if they'd let me. I'd love that."
- Danny Michel, on home recording.

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."
- G.W. Bush, Townsend, TN., Feb. 21, 2001

"Uh-oh, she's making the bracket face again!"
- MC

"I don't even have the excuse that I'm on cough syrup. Wait, I'm on a Halls, does that count?"
"It wasn't even a Halls Centres..."
- Fiona (plus me)

"Meanwhile, here in Canada, we were increasing our population the old-fashioned way: by letting in immigrants and then giving them a hard time."
- Rick Mercer

"(the computer -scuse me, *laptop*- sitting on her desk, in her office, which if you look at it from the hallway looks like this, and you can see the murano statue we got in italy, next to my ill-gotten scanner.)"
- MC

"I don't think I would take a bullet for Jian. But I'd definitely yell 'duck'."
- Fiona

"Don't hug me! I'm psycho! could be dangerous."
"But you're psycho! you need hugs! it's the love you lacked as a child and a restraining device all in one!"
- Fiona

"It's on a train, bagel's on a train, far far away..."
- MC

"What does the South Pacific smell like?"
- Gloria Reuben, during The Vagina Monologues

"The number of Nafio birthday shopping will be none."
- Fiona

"I didn't know you could get Saturn to help you do things!"
"Yeah, I use it as a paperweight."
- Me and Fiona

"Hit me baby Jesus one more time!"
- Danny Michel

"We showed... ourselves... to each other."
- some freak called Shasti

"Spell HAND. F-U-C-K M-E. That is incorrect."
- a Speak N'Spell encouraged by Danny Michel

"Why can't Diet Coke get rid of that one last calorie?"
"Because that would make Diet Coke celery."
- MikeWood and Fiona

"A Mounds bar is not a sprinkle. A Twizzler is not a sprinkle. A Jolly Rancher is not a sprinkle."
- Apu

"I'm dying! I'm dying! And I'm twirling!"
- MC

"What about MY need to be generalized and easily dismissed?"
- Goats

"If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!"
- Goats

"Does anyone have half a potato?"
- me, in an empty house.

"A penny whistle in D is a penny whistle indeed."
- Mike Ford

Jian: "You know what I like about our fans?"
Dave: "They're cute?"
- May 4 1999

"Most people are from Michigan."
- AJ

"Just like Time, the rest of the band is simply a persistent illusion."

"Social satire is a dangerous business, and if it's not dangerous, then you're not doing it right!"
- Murray Foster, 04-26-97

"Sabres vs. Senators. Who will win, and who will go back to Buffalo disappointed?"
-Mike Ford, April 25 1997

"A handful of Jergens doesn't count as experience."
- Goats

"Oh, Dave. Try not to become Catholic on us."
- from Breaking Away

"Oh, great. Someone ELSE in a gurney. Buzz off!"
- MC in the emergency room.

"Europe was exhausting. Everything's at the top of a hill."
- Scott Thompson

"Don't matter if you care if you don't own what you care about."
- Kurt Vonnegut, "Breakfast of Champions"

"People say he fried his brain looking at the sun. Course he couldn't have been too smart to do that in the first place... it's kind of a chicken and egg thing."
- King of the Hill

"Oxygen don't grow on trees."
- Futurama

"Take usable from unstable and you're left with... NT."
- Wakko, June 9 1999

"Well, look who's here. We should have baked a cat."
- witches, The Simpsons

"You always want more eye of newt. If it were up to you, the brew would be nothing but eye of newt."
- witches, The Simpsons

"I need a woman! Now!"
- MC

"So, does this thing need batteries or does it, like, run on spiritual energy?"
- Dave Tobey, about Andi's furby.

"You know, in the second bar of Alison, you should really bar the whole fret and play a full arpeggio - Wait, I'm gonna get some food! Don't go anywhere!!! *lunge*"
- Mike Ford, imagining what he will say when one of these days he gets the guts to talk to Elvis Costello.

"After spinning the wheel our victims, surprisingly few of whom were actually on drugs and attempting to take their clothes off, were offered a choice of beverages (soft drinks only for legal reasons) at The Society Lounge Bar or a turn in the Go-Go cage. Our experience suggests that the world is full of frustrated Go-Go Dancers."
- Elvis Costello, about the Spinning Wheel tour.

"You know, Jimi Hendrix was really a brilliant guitarist, but i wouldn't trust him to babysit my kids or anything."
- Ellen's ex's med-school housemate

"I always look at the track fill. If it's better than my film, I stop making the film."
- Jim Fisher

© Katherine Maheux, 2003.