I just signed an email "yours (and Leonard Cohen's)".
Sometimes I really think no one appreciates me as much as I appreciate myself ;)
Posted by hKath at 11:29 AM ()
Monday, February 11
I had a scary dream!
FOR THREE HOURS!
Ugh. What a freaky freak this early morning was. I started dreaming that there was this illness going around, like anthrax or ebola, that kililed within 36 hours, and a bunch of people I'd been with last night and I were feeling sick, and I was way past treatable - should have gotten checked earlier - and they stuck us all in a big empty house to die.
And all I could think was I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die. But at the same time I was thinking I really don't feel sick, I really don't feel sick, I really don't feel sick. There was this really nice, cute doctor who brought me up to the house, and he was going to come back the next day and see if there were any survivors.
The house was really big, so you could really feel how empty it was, and I was one of the last people who was okay enough to walk around. Me and Tanya, I think (it really was just everyone I was with at work last night). There was this Olympic-sized indoor swimming pool and it was just wrong how empty it looked with just us sitting by it. I think Tanya swam, but I didn't want to because I didn't want to die underwater. There was a point while she was swimming when she kind of looked like she was suffocating and stiffening and I just thought "There, that's why I didn't want to go swimming."
I thought if I just kept walking around, then I couldn't die, right? So while everyone else was upstairs dying, Tanya and I just kept walking around the downstairs part of the house. Then these three ladies showed up who didn't know there was anyone else there, and who wanted me to make them supper. I didn't know how to kick them out. Maybe I didn't want to kick them out. I was angry at being sick. Maybe I wanted them to be sick too.
So I started to make them dinner. I made dessert first (actually followed a recipe that I use in real life!) and then I looked in the fridge to see what the main course could be. There was a really big Corningware pan with a little pig inside it, a whole pig, sort of pink and black mostly. And I thought, well, I've never cooked a whole pig before, but let's see...
But when I took it out of the fridge it opened its eyes and I yelled at Tanya to come over, there was a pig in our refrigerator, I said. She was somehow already aware of this. For a brief moment I thought about spending my last moments with a really cute pig as a pet, but then I remembered the ladies I was cooking for. I put the pig down and it scampered away and out the door. Smart pig.
I'm sure there was more afterwards, but at the moment I can't remember past that point. The freaky thing is I kept waking up and looking at the clock during all this, starting around six-thirty in the morning. And all I kept thinking was "do NOT go back to sleep" but I just kept going back to the dream.
Posted by hKath at 11:55 AM ()
You are all cordially invited to my wedding to Jamie Oliver.
So anyway, tonight Simon dropped by the store and he and I managed to have an entire conversation about a certain "surprisingly beautiful scrotum". I'm not sure how we managed to do this, but I guess we try real hard.
Also work-related, today Jason described Tanya and I as the tall skinny blond chick and the short skinny blond chick. Interesting.
Also, the neighbourhood weirdo came in and hasn't bathed in months. He in fact probably hasn't taken off his parka in months, as I've never seen him without it. I had the misfortune of selling him chips and coke. I had to stand all the way back against the back counter and even then my eyes were still watering. I saw Jason stop about thirty feet away and make a face at me - he could smell it from there. After the weirdo left we could smell it EVERYWHERE, it spread through the store and drove everyone else out. We sprayed Lysol everywhere, and then perfume. We were still convinced we could smell it though.
The funny thing was that that horrible unwashed smell reminded me of other horrible unwashed smells from when I worked in downtown Ottawa instead of uptown Toronto. It was jarring to remember how many people had smells that could make your eyes water.
In other news, I just learned to make lemon and cream linguine in the time it takes to boil the linguine. Imagine that!
And then AJ made me turn off the TV and get online ;)
Damn not having a TV in my room! Damn it to hell!
Posted by hKath at 2:01 AM ()