So, like... a few things.

I just got StrokeIt!, a program which I already can't live without, and I'm being honest here. I know it sounds a little dirty, but go ahead, you'll thank me later.

Adam offered to hypnotise me into not smoking. I think that after finals and after I get my promotion (when things get back to routine and I no longer have to deal with the stress of something new), I'll let him try to hypnotise me. Might be fun.

Derek didn't come to work today because he broke up with his girlfriend, Sam. They went out the whole time I've known him, yet, I've only talked to her a handful of times, seen her maybe five times, and he's *never* talked about her, though he talks about zillions of other things. He bought her saddle shoes once, and I was jealous, because I've always wanted saddle shoes, ever since (I think) I read the Ramona books.

Anyway, so she really didn't seem like that big a part of his life. Oops. I guess she was. Suck. I feel bad for him.
Posted by hKath at 1:48 AM ()

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Wednesday, March 13

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Tuesday, March 12

I wasn't intending on writing more about this. Especially not something whiny, which is what I fear is about to come out of me. But I was just reading Shannon's guestbook and the newest entry there after mine really struck a nerve.

First of all, and I'm not implying anything by this, but how is being dismissed as "another well-dressed, pretty girl" bad in any way? It doesn't tell me what bad thing the shunners or fruheads thought she was. It tells me they thought she was pretty and well-dressed. And not that I'm arguing that, I mean what do I know? But I'm pretty sure that if they were pissed at you girl, they weren't thinking "God, I hate her. She's so pretty and well-dressed." I'm just saying. Sometimes honesty with others is a good thing. Honesty with yourself can be good too.

But on to other things. You say, anonymous miss, that people pretended to be your friend just to get to said band member. I hope you were aware of it while they were doing it, because it's an awful thing to find out after the fact. When I lived with Dave (Tobey) a lot of people came and went pretty often. Most of them, I was pretty sure, were there for Dave, no matter what they said, and I was right. What they said was usually that they were coming to visit me. They even spent a formidable amount of time with me for people who apparently didn't even like me that much.

So now that I no longer live with Dave? These people still come to Toronto. Do they call me? Of course not. What has changed? Only my living arrangement. Whatever. I know who my true friends are, dammit. Really, I do.

Apologies to anyone who ended up as a period or a comma during that last post or anyone who feels they were excluded because I was tired of typing and I can't possibly use my brain at 100% capacity after the day I've had. You all belong here, those of you who know who you are :)
Posted by hKath at 1:48 AM ()

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Monday, March 11

Oooh, exciting shit going down. Discontent fruheads letting their voices be heard! No one's done this before, and I'm not sure why they haven't. Tis not a big deal. Some of you may have heard about a certain thing called (bom-bom-BOM) LBC.

What is LBC? Who is in LBC? What do they do? Well, I don't want to speak for anyone else, but let me tell you, it's a lot less freaking ominous than you think. I am a member of LBC.

This does not mean that I get ten to twenty messages a day telling me who to hate. It doesn't mean that I keep tabs on people's journals just to make fun of them. It doesn't mean that I revel in the idea that I am a member of an exclusive club. It doesn't mean that I favour other members of LBC over the rest of the fruheads. In fact, there are members of LBC who aren't fruheads.

*gasp*

LBC? Is just a way to keep in touch with some of my friends. If you're my friend and you're not a member of LBC, that doesn't mean I don't like you as much as those people, it just means that I keep in touch with you in some different way.

Stop looking for elitism where it is not!

I'm not saying that there aren't people out there who are elitists. I mean real elitists, not people who call themselves that for fun. I know some of them.

The funny thing? They apparently have no idea who they are.

Even funnier? Whenever anyone starts to talk about how much elitism sucks, they are the first to say "I know what you mean."

I have witnessed this many times. My theory is that they have no idea what they're doing. They're just very confused fucks who have a talent for being infuriatingly snobby and not realizing it. Which is why I think Shannon's anonymous guest writer (go back a few entries) was a little off-base when talking about "good" people and "bad" people.

It's a shame, really, to think this way, and maybe I'm just old and cynical, but doesn't everyone believe in their heart that they themselves are a good person? That they have good intentions? And how sad is it that people who believe they're good people can be so fucking horrible to other people?

I dunno. I don't have the answers, I just know the answers aren't to be had in the inner circle, whatever that is. Just be with whoever makes you happy, and fuck the inner circle. FUCK THE INNER CIRCLE!

They really *don't* have more fun than you. Now that is a myth I bought into for a long time. It even ruined a very special day of mine because I couldn't allow myself to have fun without some special circumstance. I'm glad I've been able to get past that. This was over two years ago, that that night happened, you understand. Actually, two years and six months ago to the day, for those of you who were there.

And although a lot of the disappointment I felt that day was because I was made to feel like a person of less importance than someone else whose birthday it also was (this starting to sound familiar to anyone? I'm back to the birthday-whining!) a lot of the reason I was unhappy was that I didn't allow myself to be happy with the friends who were with me. I know some of them felt similarly at the time. If we knew then what we know now, it would have been a good birthday and a good night all-around.

*shrug*

These things happen.

You know what I've learned since then? Cool people seem like they have more fun than you. I still don't know why, but you have to look past that. Because it's not fucking true. Once you get into the cool party there's always another, cooler party, and you're never happy. That's how these things work. That's how high school worked, to a certain extent (ok, maybe not my hich school, but perhaps yours ;).

FUCK THE COOL KIDS.

You ARE the cool kids.

And you know what's coolest about the really cool kids? They hang out with the people they want to hang out with. They eat the stuff they want to eat. They look the way they want to look. They do the things they want to do. And if someone wants to give them shit for that then so fucking what?

Y'all shouldn't worry about what everyone else thinks. It's not good for the blood pressure.
Posted by hKath at 2:20 PM ()

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