What they found when they gutted and sold me:
A pair of crumpled leather shoes, black.
A roll of paper towels with pink geese and blue diamonds printed on them.
A baggie full of dried cheese. Some cookies.
A straw cowboy hat with a blue and purple band.
A dozen guitar picks. Eight banjo picks. Three pillows.
A map of Ohio.
A map of Ontario.
A map of New York.
A map of New Jersey.
A map of Nevada.
A map of British Columbia.
An atlas of the Unites States of America.
A few unidentified blond hairs.
An electronic Trivial Pursuit game that plays “Roll Out The Barrel” when the game is won.
Three roaches and a roach clip.
A Maple Leafs goalie mask window cling.
A box full of padlocks.
A case of water bottles with specialty labels: “Mariposa Folk Festival, 2000”.
A multicoloured hacky-sack, still in good condition.
Two chicken shakes. A package of sandalwood incense.
A teacup full of joint grease.
Two utility knives. Four rolls of duct tape. A vial of Visine.
An empty bottle of Excedrin.
Two tire irons of different sizes.
A tuner with a dead battery.
Three books of crossword puzzles.
A copy of the National Post, 07/17/00.
A copy of The Detroit Metro Times, 09/17/99.
A copy of The Onion, 05/25/00.
A lanyard pass from the NHL All-Star Game.
A crumpled telegram. Some fan mail. A sock.
A pair of brown shorts. A curly black wig.
Some silence. Some heaviness.
A rusted tambourine. A drumstick.
A red satin bra. Some stickers for a band you’ve never heard of.
(February 26, 2003)